The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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