Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
