spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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