I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
