some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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