Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
