Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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