there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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