Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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