Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
