there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
