I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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