Who did Billy Mays play for?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
