Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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