I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
