I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
