im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
