We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
