how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
