i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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