oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
