i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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