i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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