So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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