yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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