Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
