she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
