im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
