I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
