Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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