We won't sleep together?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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