Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
