it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
