I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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