He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
