She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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