I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
3 2 1 whiskey
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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