Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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