He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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