I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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