I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
