Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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