Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
