It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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