He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize