fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
