he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
