He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The air was thick with penises
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
