Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am one with the molecules
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
