HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
