i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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