singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
found the other keg... it's in the tree
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
