a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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