One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
