got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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