we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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