Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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