we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just high enough for therapy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
