I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
