i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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