yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
