Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
