I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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