no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
