new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
