Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
