I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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