Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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