I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
