Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
