Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
