question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
