I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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