covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
