i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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