:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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