If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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