how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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