i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
