I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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