She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
