this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
